Indiscriminate Deliberations: January

To continue on a thought shared in the Merry Christext! column, text messaging is the greatest invention since the cell phone itself, at least for guys in early dating stages. Note to girls: Men don’t like talking on the phone out of fear of the 30-minute conversation that will likely ensue. However, the ability to text generates just enough points to illustrate to a girl that the texting guy is thinking about them, but without the verbal pain and time that used to go with it back in the 90s.

Please note ladies: If a guy is more into texting you more than calling, see that envelope on your tiny screen as a red flag. For starters, he could be texting because the other girl he’s with just went to the bathroom, or he simply may like you only enough to see you when alcohol is present. These are worst-case scenarios, of course, but it’s done more often than you would think for those reasons.

Sharing that information doesn’t break the guy code, does it?

Went to Teak on Saturday night, and let’s just say that the clientele isn’t what one would call a local neighborhood crowd as seen as Ted and Jo’s or Three A’s. The guess here is that the Hoboken outbound Hudson-Bergen Light Rail and cab stands must have been quite crowded after Teak closing time.

Hmmm…who to root for in the Donald-Rosie battle?

I’ll take the side against whoever said this:

“Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America where we have a separation of church and state. We’re a democracy here.”

Last I checked, 19 radical Christians didn’t hijack four planes and kill thousands of American innocents, Skinny.

Go Trump!

It will actually be cold this week.

Hey, that beats the stench around here lately…

After having pedaled for 75 minutes on a LifeCycle at Sky Club Fitness yesterday, there was a feeling like something truly monumental had been accomplished.

Then I came home and saw on the news that some 49-year-old from Illinois just broke the Guinness record for riding his bike for 85 hours straight.

My only question is: How did he go to the bathroom?

Might be time to change that seat…

There really is a God…

Otherwise, we would be forced the two most unwatchable teams in the NFL during conference championship weekend: The Philadelphia Eagles or Baltimore Ravens.

Seriously, what would you rather see? Eagles-Bears or Saints (America’s team)-Bears? Ravens-Patriots (no playoff history or rivalry) or Colts-Patriots? (mucho playoff history and the always captivating “Can-Peyton-get-to-a-Super Bowl-and-have-nineteen- commercials-starring-himself-during-the-game-subplot”).

Really, was there ever a doubt that Tom Brady, down eight points with six minutes left in the fourth, wasn’t going to methodically march his depleted receiving core down the field, score, get the two point conversion, and eventually win the game? It was like watching Tiger on a Sunday of a major…you just know he’s going to win, and we should already be talking about him in the same breath as Montana.

As nice as the Saints story is, and they should be commended for ridding us of a scourge that are the Eagles, even a victory in Chicago won’t make the Super Bowl as big as Colts-Pats this weekend.

If you believe one grass roots community blog that is about as accurate as al-Jazeera, the countdown to the Mayor Roberts resignation began 16 days ago and ends no later than January 31. Of course, such a huge news item has never been uttered by the Mayor himself or anyone in his administration, but why let facts get in the way of a potentially active comments section?

The first-place Devils move into their new arena next season called The Prudential Center. Nickname: The Rock.

Like it.

But could you imagine the blank stares of Newark residents when the Devils win their next Stanley Cup and hold the ticker-tape parade down Broad Street?

And will the players need to ride in Pope Mobiles?

Hockeytown, USA, it is not…

The Nets-Knicks battle for first place (combined record 32-42) in the Atlantic Division isn’t quite as heart-thumping as an episode of 24.

Speaking of 24, it is easily the best show on television right now…but to sell Kal Penn from Harold and Kumar as a young terrorist was the worst case of miscasting since Ricky Schroeder replaced David Caruso on NYPD Blue. You just keep waiting for Kumar to giggle to Jack Bauer, “That’s crazy, dude. We’ve been having a pretty crazy, night, too. We’ve just been driving around looking for White Castle but we keep getting sidetracked.”

And is it me, or did one of the FBI agents that raided the American-Muslim Studies Institute office look just like Neil Patrick Harris?

Naah…NPH would never do that.

Continuing the twins kick, have you ever noticed that we don’t ever see DB Woodside (President Wayne Palmer, formerly the Principal on the last season of Buffy) and Miami Heat’s Gary Payton in the same room?

In the most obvious statement in Indiscriminate Deliberations history, whoever is first to get an interview with that kid who was found in Missouri after four years of captivity will get the highest ratings of any news program this year. You just have to wonder if he’ll end up like the Tim Robbins character in Mystic River.

Been on a big movie rental kick lately. For the record, unless you think auditing a power point presentation on global warming by Professor Gore is your idea of an exciting Friday night, DO NOT RENT An Inconvenient Truth. Although I did find it hilarious for Al to lecture us on the Bush Administration’s failure on controlling greenhouse gases, considering he did next to nothing about it for eight years when he had some power on controlling that agenda as Vice President.

If your girlfriend talks you into renting The Devil Wears Prada, you’ll actually be pleasantly surprised for it not being the chick flick it appears to be. Meryl Streep is tremendous and Anne Hathaway has that Rachel McAdams, not-super-hot-but-perfect girlfriend-material look.

But for the money, Thank You for Smoking has the most quick-witted script for any flick in at least the past two years. Get it tonight.

In a word, Hoboken Restaurant Week is genius. What better way to get someone to try a restaurant they would otherwise feel is out of their price range or three-block radius? That starts January 29 and more information on it can be found in realhoboken’s Upcoming Events section.

Upon checking my email while writing this column, here’s some advice for Spammers everywhere: Spell check. And using a normal name with consistent caps could be a step in the right direction in prompting people to actual open your email.

Here’s a list of names of a few I’ve received in the past four minutes:

  • carsten Hahn
  • arnis krums
  • Rita Kone
  • Latoya`Valle
  • Knight Isabel
  • Carpenter Cyril

Personally, if I ran a Spam program, I would just have my “senders” use celebrity names.

What, you wouldn’t open an email from Charlie Murphy or Jessica Alba?

Ashley Harder is simultaneously New Jersey’s hottest and most depressed person in the state right now. Think about it, you train essentially your whole life to become Miss New Jersey, but because you’re esthetically pleasing and are likely propositioned during every moment of your existence, you meet a charming guy with super sperm that happens to knock you up.

So not only are you forced to resign because pageant rules forbid competing while pregnant, but the whole world knows you’re eating for two out of wedlock.

And you thought you were having a bad day…