Indiscriminate Deliberations: June

I’m all about countdowns…

That said we are only days away from Hoboken’s Sinatra Idol on June 13th. Contestants dress like the Chairman and actually try to sound like him. Unintentional comedy mixed with even a few people who can almost pull it off. They actually had 15 contestants at last year’s event, and some would even make Frank Sinatra (Junior) proud. Come down to Sinatra Park from 7:00-9:00 PM to hear imitations of the greatest performer of the 20th Century…and that includes Jenna Jamison.

I’m watching on the news right now the arrest at the New York Times building of Alan Robert, a human climbing croissant who has scaled over 80 buildings around the world during his “career”.

Here’s my question: There appears to be at least 10 policeman there, some of whom essentially risked their lives to put the cuffs on him out on a ledge…so who pays for that? And why isn’t he in jail for public endangerment or for a senseless use of police resources for longer than the 24 hours he usually gets? There he is, just smiling while a police chopper goes by…it just pisses me off that there are no ramifications for doing what he does, let alone for just being French.

So Barack Obama will be the Democratic Nominee. I think I predicted that when he was 20 points down in the polls behind you-know-who.

But then again, I said Bloomberg would run, so I guess I’m 2-for-3 (dead on with McCain over Romney when the Arizona Senator wasn’t even on the radar as well).

Here’s a thought: If Bush is so unpopular, and the economy is in such horrible shape (still waiting for that recession that Obama is practically begging for), and the Iraq War is a quagmire (lowest violence level since before the invasion in May), why isn’t the greatest orator since Reagan beating McCain by 30 points right now?

Even Michael Dukakis had a 15-point lead in June of ’88…and he was, well, Michael Dukakis. And that was coming off the most successful Presidency of the 20th Century outside of arguable FDR in the form of Ronald Reagan’s term.

Rasmussen Poll, June 3:

Obama 43%

McCain 41%

That’s what called a dead heat when bringing in the margin of error.

That’s also a very bad sign for Democrats.

Very bad considering Obama will have to start backing up his soaring rhetoric with details…

You know who the most bipartisan member of the Senate is?

It ain’t Obama.

I think it’s that old white guy who everyone is underestimating…

It’s still hard to believe that Hillary wouldn’t endorse Obama on Tuesday night when he clinched the nomination. But then I heard through back channels that the mental patient that runs Hoboken411 (the scarily self-important Perry Klaussen) threatened to get really, really upset if she (a) Didn’t decide on who she was endorsing immediately by writing a 250 endorsement essay exclusively for his grass-roots community blog and (b) Didn’t thank Beth Mason for her paving the way for female politicans like Hillary everywhere.

It’s sad to see that 4th Ward Councilman Dawn Zimmer and Perry are no longer as chummy and Muhammad Ali and Howard Cosell once were. But we at Realhoboken.com will be happy to break down exactly what caused the break-up:

Early 2007: Zimmer hires Klaussen — who claims to have zero time to even take a piss because of his undying dedication to maintaining the propaganda of Hoboken411 into the wee hours of the morning and between bong hits — to design a campaign website for her.

Cost: $2500.00.

Dozens of platitudes and glowing press for Zimmer from 411 until she’s officially elected: Priceless.

Klaussen, of course, doesn’t reveal this warm and fuzzy arrangement until he realizes Mike Mullins of the Hoboken Reporter is about to expose said arrangement via Zimmer ELEC report, so he comes clean in the same way Andy Pettitte did when the Mitchell Report came out. What a guy.

May 2008: Leading up to the freeholder elections, Klaussen takes leave of his senses and demands (yes, demands) that all local elected officials send him their endorsements of the candidates by no later than sundown on such-and-such a date. But since Klaussen is an unrepentent shill for 2nd Ward Councilwomen/future ambulence chaser Beth Mason, some politicos blow off Klaussen’s public harassment. And that’s when Hoboken’s favorite hippie truly leaves the reservation by attacking Zimmer (and his other former client, 5th Ward Councilman Peter Cunningham) with both keyboards blazing on 411.

But was it really over her not making an endorsement in a freeholder race (which she has every right not to do) or was it because Klaussen no longer needed to play nice because the checks from Zimmer and Cunningham stopped coming in since the campaign sites were no longer needed?

Hoboken411: The best press coverage money can buy.

Just make sure you keep him on retainer…

I wish I put this in print before Joba’s debut Tuesday night, but ask anyone who was within a 10-foot radius of me in the days leading up to the big night for everyone’s favorite last-place team…

I said he would bomb.

Really.

You just can’t go from being babied for a year with the Joba Rules of only pitching one inning every two days to being a legit starter overnight. And the Blue Jays were smart since the Yankees were wise enough to send out everything but a press release saying he would only throw 65 pitches…max. Work the count, get his pitch count up, and get to that horrid middle relief by the end fourth inning.

Or in this case, by the middle of the third.

Final score: Toronto 9-3.

Is Joba some kond of relative of the Babe, by the way?

So is it safe to say that the Real World jumped the shark about ten years ago?

Same thing every season: Angry black guy, sensitive gay guy, house slut, house All-American girl, good-looking but clueless guy, and one or two vanillas to make them all look that much more insane.

Lather, rinse, repeat…

If you’re into seeing the best cover band at the Jersey Shore (with respect to The Benjimans and The Nerds), check out Spit Roast Muppet at the Osprey in Mansquan on June 13 if Sinatra Idol just isn’t your bag.

So does the Sex and City movie really need to be almost as long as Titantic? Two-and-a half-hours for a flick made from a half-hour show is the best way to sore back at a movie theater near you.

Speaking of movie theaters, it looks like Hoboken will finally have one in Northwest Hoboken between Grand and Adams on 14th Street by next spring.

So is Banana Republic ever going to wise up and open a store in the BR-wearing capital of the world called Hoboken as well?

Just asking…